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Japanese Politeness?

 

 

Japanese Politeness
(source: Wikimedia)

During that first day in Takamatsu (May 19th 2009), I started to vaguely interact with Japanese people; and by “vaguely interact” I mean, “look at them interacting with each other.” Which brings us to our next topic: the world-famous Japanese politeness.

First of all, remember, I alluded to it when mentioning making noise while slurping Udon, I am fully aware that politeness is a highly arbitrary and cultural concept. What is considered very polite in one country will be considered rude in another one and vice-versa. That always creates interesting situations with foreigners abroad, regardless of whether you are the foreigner or the local. Japan is no different here.

For example, one thing that really surprised me is that despite the fact that Japanese people are always extremely polite with each other with they communicate, when they’re not talking, I sometimes find them extremely… I want to say “impolite”, but this is where cultural subjectivity intervenes. So, let’s say that I find them cold, almost rough with each other. For example, when people who don’t know each other are in a situation where they don’t have to talk to each other, they’ll do anything they can to avoid talking. To the point of pretending that the other person doesn’t exist when possible.

Even stranger, take a place that is slightly crowded, for example a store, when people are in the way of somebody else, whether because that other person wants to walk through or grab something; instead of simply saying something along the lines of “excuse me”, they’ll try to squeeze in, they’ll even wriggle around without a word. Of course, it is very unlikely that the people that are in the way will move or say something. Because of that I witnessed interesting situations that were this close to slapstick comedy. Especially when I notice that I’m in the way of somebody else. Usually, I notice when it’s already too late, as the person didn’t say anything. As a reflex, I’ll push aside. Usually in the same direction that the person is already trying to sneak through. Yes, a few old ladies almost ended up in my arms just like that.

The other option being to gently push the person who is in the way, still without a word. “Gently” being sometimes optional, for example when that old lady wanted to grab cucumbers behind me. I never could figure out if it was normal behavior, or if it was because she was old and such above the rules, or if it was because I’m a foreigner and as such “below the rules”.

Yes, that type of behavior really surprised me coming from a people who is usually so nice and so gentle (at least from my neophyte point of view).

Now, I understand better why those two Japanese women almost freaked out that day on Rue Saint-Augustin in Paris, when they were in my way, I was in a hurry, they were slow and I told them a strong (but gentle) “sumimasen” right from behind them (as it’s common practice in Paris, just replace “sumimasen” with “pardon!”).

 

The tale of what happened and my first impressions of that day is far from over and continues there.

 

11 thoughts on “Japanese Politeness?”

  1. Nice post. It’s an interesting topic – what is considered polite and impolite in each country. And as in many other aspects, I find Japan to be a very dualistic country.

    1. “dualistic” is the term.
      I guess I was so surprised to find them “impolite” at times (according to my French criteria) because they’re so much more polite than Westerners most of the time (according to my culture, once again).

  2. Interesting post.Some people say Kansai-jin who live around in Osaka might be considered crude or lacking in pride.
    However, most Japanese including me? are politeness and shy.

    1. I haven’t met a lot of people from Osaka (just a few of my wife’s family member) but yes, they are definitely different from people in the East.

      That being said, I feel like Osakans and people from the West of Japan in general are almost closer to Westerners in terms of behavior (I found people in Hiroshima to be very “Mediterranean” for example). 🙂

  3. I have experienced this myself but I found that the younger Japanese people I met were a little more westernized. In some ways I think this is a shame because one of the things I love about travel is exploring different cultural aspects, but I guess cultures are becoming more and more blurred as the planet is becoming more global – Interesting stuff though! 😀

    1. Where did you meet them?
      Because in Shikoku, even younger people are not westernized at all (except for the westernization that occured during Meiji and after 1945 of course)

      1. I have worked all over the world but unfortunatly I have never been to Japan (its on the top of my wish list) but I worked for a couple of Japanese companies in the UK and met alot of people who came over on business and made a few friends. I guess I met the kind of people who travel alot so my experiences may not reflect the majority of the Japanese people.

        1. I see.
          Yes, watch out for people who travel a lot and/or are used to foreign countries for they’re rarely “typical” of their compatriots. 🙂
          Most Japanese people have never left Japan, never will, most of them have never even met any foreigner and they’re definitely not Westernized.

  4. I was just talking with a blogger friend, Zhu (correresmidestino.com) this weekend. She said that when she speaks Chinese in China, people are often taken aback. It’s not just because she is clearly Western from her looks (she is French), which makes them surprised to hear their language coming out of her mouth; it’s also that they are simply not used to accents. She figured out that there isn’t actually anything wrong with her pronunciation, because when they get used to the idea they are able to understand her. It’s just that in places that don’t have a lot of interaction with foreigners, an accent (which anybody who learns the language in adulthood will have, no matter how hard they work on it) is more of a barrier than in more multicultural cities.

    (She also added that there are parts of France where that applies, too!)

  5. Nice review.i would like to add somthing.western & eastern cultures are very different from each other.as an easterner, we are raised and disciplined from the day we can walk to do things based on our cultural norms.most of the polite norms are closely related to respect.especially to those much older than us.bowing our heads, lowering our heads to almost kiss the elders hands, the way we eat/drink, the words that we use for talking, the way we wear and behave all was taught from age 1.some parents are more strict than others when it comes to tradition and cultures.but i also believe each country have their own ways of life.that’s why we are encouraged to interact and visit each other to learn.but unfortunately today’s youth are more adapt to the hollywood culture (enjoy and partying culture) which is sad because once you grow older and have a family, you would lose all who you really are

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